ho down.

i'm in the city.  hells kitchen, to be exact.  i'm sitting on the ex-boyfriend's sofa.  i just ate way too much subway and watched way too many episodes of sex and the city.  i couldn't figure out how to get the television off of dvd mode and it was already in so i thought i would watch an episode.  that turned into four.  fortunately one of the four turned out to be one of my favorite episodes.  i have no idea where my ex is currently.  he might be on a date.  and i'm so okay with that.  i've never felt more detached from him in a romantic way and it's good.  i'm free from the ties that bind!

wendy and i have sort of found an apartment.  we were pre-approved but i don't want to jinx anything.  if all works out i will soon be a resident of clinton hill.  not too bad.

this work has spanned over twelve hours.  since i typed that previous thought, i've slept  full night.  today is the out lounge thing and i get to see all these men that were in my life last summer.  however, i'm really in a mindset to move forward in life.  so i think these men will forever stay in summer 2007.

boy-be-queue.

today was my first day off from my retail job in a week.  i spent the day being worlds more productive than i had assumed i would.  i'm hoping that tomorrow goes similarly (i also hope i get the same bank man tomorrow.  what a gorgeous man!).  i'm leaving for new york on monday to find an apartment and i need to have some sort of order to my life by then.

speaking of being in new york next week, my plans for while i'm there sure have changed.  originally i had planned on staying with stephanie, who had housed me in december during my visit.  this was a beneficial situation because she never really had time to spend outside of work so i was free to gallivant around the city with different boys.  however, this time is going to be a tad different.  my favorite city boy has a boyfriend!

so to make sure everyone stays on their toes (and because frankly i'm too lazy to look for somewhere else to stay), i will be spending the week with my favorite ex boyfriend.  he and i talked tonight about it and i think it'll go smoothly.  and if not, i don't much care because he's my ex and that is what he's there for.  we've both put in our dues and therefore are able to ask one another for favors until we die.

tonight danlly pointed something out to me that i hadn't really realized.  i've been so wrapped up in my postgrad job search that i didn't realize that i'm already fulfilling one of my dreams and that is to move to new york.  one dream at a time, corey.  no need to achieve everything you want within the first 21 years of your life.

limbo.

i'm living between lives.  behind me lies a student from a small town with a degree from a public university.  ahead of me lies a professional in new york city living a completely different lifestyle.  presently i lie here on my floor listening to john mayer waiting for the day to end.

i've always been one to never allow myself to ask those with whom i could have/currently have/have had a romantic interest in for help.  it's twisted and i just don't ever want to be seen as dependent on him.

wendy's overseas for the next week and on the 12th we'll be on our way to nyc to find an apartment.  here's to hoping everything falls into place.

division.

today starts my life.  kind of.  graduation is over, school is over, the weekend is over, so over.  last night, wendy hosted a party at her apartment that has left me feeling a little uncertain of those in my life (and a little sore in my nose).  i've spent some time now burning all sorts of bridges and at this point i don't see myself stopping anytime soon.

it's pretty outside today and i can't stop thinking about sex.

miami fuckery.

i returned from miami on sunday after a five day vacation.  i spent the time with my sister and she and i had a fantastic time.  i fell in absolute love with a puppy named yogi and i remember waking up on saturday so excited to spend the day with her.  it was a similar feeling i used to have with men, that giddy-anxious excitement that floods my every thought.  yeah, i felt that for a dog (and subsequently have not for a man in awhile).

currently, i'm on my sofa in my apartment listening to mariah carey's new album with some candles scattered around.  it's very calming and helping me focus on what's to come.  i've got a lot of things going on in the next five days.  final, work, graduation, parties.  i can't believe i'm done.

i took a big step yesterday with wendy and opened my postgrad bank account.  i feel responsible but also fairly poor and a little let down because for some reason i half-expected the amount to increase today.  it didn't.  boo.

tomorrow is my last final ever.  in a month i'll be moving to new york.  i sure do hope someone hires me.