keep on rockin'

it's been awhile, blog.  i've kept busy with my search for a job and frantic scramble to graduate (and alcoholic binges).  this past weekend, kristi and i went to a birthday party for john.  i think i can state with confidence that i have fallen in love ... with his friends.  and that's going to be an issue.

i've been very stressed out with life after graduation.  a lot of things are going to be happening very quickly and i'm not sure if i will be able to keep up.  nevertheless, i will be taking a vacation to miami with my sister in mid-april as if i have any time to do so.  but i'd like to travel before i start working full-time (wherever that may be).

time to start taking care of myself again.  this is going to take some work since i've let myself go after the trip to the west coast.

karmic retribution.

the past week or so has been good to me.  after last week's drinking binge, I was a bit worn out for the st. patrick's day escapades and even spent monday evening at home.  in fact, this whole week (all three days) I haven't gone out.  man, i sound pathetic.

last week, wendy and i decided to roll up our sleeves and become the men that we are.  she and i were able to successfully change my car battery and top off my coolant in the dark.  we are somewhat of a midnight mechanic duo.  it reassured me that she and i are going to do fabulously once we move.

last night i went out with john for a third time.  we went to the movies and it was nice.  i liked it.  i haven't really felt anything for anyone in a long while and this is all kind of refreshing.  and i know he and i are an unlikely pair but it's fun.  that being said, we have yet to take that next step and i'm wondering who will do so and where.

last summer i spent a few drug-fueled nights with matt, someone i had met while i was working an out event.  he and i continue to talk and he's someone i could see myself really liking if we were to spend more (sober?) time together.  i suppose this summer will either confirm or deny that sentiment.  he's cute.

i get upset sometimes when i think about leaving my mother and father and grandparents and kristi here when the relocation occurs.  it's not going to be easy by any means and it's approaching quicker than i expected.  but i can't stay here anymore.  it's time to move forward in life.

this morning i snapped on someone who approached me to sign a petition for something i didn't even take the time to learn about.  as if my time is so precious that i can't hear someone else out for 30 seconds.  my inhumanity is reaching gross new levels.

drugs not hugs.

saturday night kristi, wendy, and i brought a couple boys to a party in ypsilanti.  before we went in we decided to get super high in kristi's car while listening to bob marley.  upon our arrival, everyone expected us to be the life of the party (per usual).  however, i was too high to talk, let alone dance.

the night consisted of us standing in dark corners while the djs played songs for us that they thought might coax us to dance.  we didn't.  the cops finally broke the party up and we ran for it.  in hindsight, i'm feeling a little bad about my behavior.  but i shouldn't feel responsible for being everybody's entertainment.  since then i've heard that there is a collective belief that we were being super bitchy.  whatever!

tonight we're going back to our favorite local haunt, babs.  $12 mixed drink pitcher nights will have some good addition here tomorrow, i assure you.

leaving las vegas.

i apologize for my absence as i spent the past week romping down the west coast in vegas, santa barbara, and los angeles.  i won't go into detail about my trip as i'm sure they'll come out sporadically (similar to what's about to happen below).  it was a very good time and i reaffirmed my move to new york in may.

this morning i was showering and reflecting back on this past summer.  one memory that stuck with me throughout today comes from my last week in the city.  and in an attempt to be more of an open book for complete strangers, i'll elaborate here.

my last visit to metropolitan in brooklyn bestowed upon me an interesting experience.  after spending the night drinking with some coworkers and wendy on the bar's back patio and doing bumps of coke inside a bathroom stall in between making out with the guy with the drugs, i was flying high and looking to make some new friends.  one man stuck out to me because he was dressed in a bathrobe, carrying a stuffed bear, and wearing an amanda lepore mask.  perfect.

i immediately told him i thought he was so original for dressing so extravagantly at the bar and he informed me he had just come from a costume party in the city.  he and i chatted as friend after friend streamed out of the bar until even wendy said she was ready to go.  however, i was high on coke and feeling chatty so i decided to stay with my robed gentleman.

after talking for awhile, he got hungry and invited me to go get some food.  since i was on drugs my appetite wasn't really there but i told him i'd go with him, anyway.  we ended up in some bodega near the bar where he got some italian sub or something and we headed back to his apartment so he could eat.

as he sat there chowing down i admired his eclectic christmas decorations (about 7 months out of season).  after he finished i started to come down so i let him know i should be leaving.  it was about 5am at this point.  he told me i should stay and that i wouldn't feel obligated to do anything sexual.  i said i'd stay so he kissed me.  tricked!

after fooling around in his living room we ended up in his bed where things began to get pretty heavy.  right until he passed out underneath me.  this is where it gets dicey.  i tried to keep going and he even woke up for a minute after i was on top of him.  but he didn't stay conscious long.  who knew 36 year olds couldn't hold their booze?

eventually i rolled off of him and he tried to put his arm around me.  i was able to slide out from under it, get dressed, and pick around for anything worth stealing.  after finding nothing of value (yes, i steal), i headed home on my favorite g-train.

i'm buying drugs today and i'm going to get very, very high.

baby fever, substance headache.

i have a headache from the wine last night.  yesterday i spent the day at home visiting my mother and father because i leave for vegas tonight.  it was nice to spend time with them and see the puppies, of course.

i drove back for my hair appointment at eight and then met kristi at her apartment for some drinking.  we had the grand plan to "party all night" so that we could sleep all day today and then "party all night" again tonight since we can't check into our hotel until 4pm tomorrow.  however, those plans kind of fell by the wayside when i bullied kristi into visiting my coworker and his wife (and their 2 month old baby).

i had never held a baby until last night.  i felt a little sad as i did so but that may be because i was drunk and a little high.  it's so strange to see established families.  it's something i don't think i'll ever have and i'm not sure if i like that or not.

i went out with john the other night.  i like meeting new people.  i won't expand on the subject because unfortunately there's nothing left to expand upon.

last night i had a dream about my ex-boyfriend.  damn those dreams and everything they make me feel when i wake up.  i suppose it's a good thing that who he is in my dreams is who he isn't in reality and therefore i'll keep my dreams close and him far, far away.

man, i missed my chance to buy the rolling stone with britney on the cover.  i really don't want to have to buy it from ebay.

today i have a bunch of shit to do before we depart at 7pm.  viva las vegas!