miami fuckery.

i returned from miami on sunday after a five day vacation.  i spent the time with my sister and she and i had a fantastic time.  i fell in absolute love with a puppy named yogi and i remember waking up on saturday so excited to spend the day with her.  it was a similar feeling i used to have with men, that giddy-anxious excitement that floods my every thought.  yeah, i felt that for a dog (and subsequently have not for a man in awhile).

currently, i'm on my sofa in my apartment listening to mariah carey's new album with some candles scattered around.  it's very calming and helping me focus on what's to come.  i've got a lot of things going on in the next five days.  final, work, graduation, parties.  i can't believe i'm done.

i took a big step yesterday with wendy and opened my postgrad bank account.  i feel responsible but also fairly poor and a little let down because for some reason i half-expected the amount to increase today.  it didn't.  boo.

tomorrow is my last final ever.  in a month i'll be moving to new york.  i sure do hope someone hires me.

keep on rockin'

it's been awhile, blog.  i've kept busy with my search for a job and frantic scramble to graduate (and alcoholic binges).  this past weekend, kristi and i went to a birthday party for john.  i think i can state with confidence that i have fallen in love ... with his friends.  and that's going to be an issue.

i've been very stressed out with life after graduation.  a lot of things are going to be happening very quickly and i'm not sure if i will be able to keep up.  nevertheless, i will be taking a vacation to miami with my sister in mid-april as if i have any time to do so.  but i'd like to travel before i start working full-time (wherever that may be).

time to start taking care of myself again.  this is going to take some work since i've let myself go after the trip to the west coast.

¡que caliente!

last night found wendy, kristi and myself visiting the latest hot spot in town, the btb cantina.  a combination of mexican food and mexican drinks makes for an unflattering image in the bar of local singles burying their desires in burritos and nachos.  and we were three such locals.  as to be expected, we saw an eclectic mix of people we know and people i'd like to never meet.  and of course, no night is complete without a gymnast grazing my leg under the table while regaling me in his stories about new york city (and how he promises to visit this time).

this morning i reserved a spot to meet with an advisor during which she will review my resumé and aide me in finding the ever elusive postgrad job.  i figure if i attend enough of these there's no way i won't find a job.  and putting my future in someone else's hands might make her feel responsible for finding me work.  that might sound a bit manipulative, but that's exactly what i'm going for.

i think i'd like to go on a date, soon.  i also think i'd like to stop going to the aut bar because upon reviewing my credit card statement it's clear i'm there far too often.

i'm having dinner tonight with kristi and a mutual friend (the one whose ex-boyfriend i fucked) and i can't help but think she has an agenda for the evening.  she was supposed to come out with us last night but alas, was not feeling well.  about a month ago she had approached me in my apartment about how we hadn't been close for a couple years and she made it sound as if it was something she wanted to right.  however, this new person she has become reminds me far too much of erving goffman's theory of presentation of self.  it's almost as if i can see right through her front stage self and into who she actually is.  and who she actually is is someone who wants to appear to care but might actually not.  but i'll go along with it because it's easier to consent than it is to resist at this point.

i ate way too many tortilla chips last night and now i can't eat until dinner.

crash course in crash diets.

today i began my diet for spring break.  now, i'm aware that las vegas and los angeles in late february won't exactly be bathing suit weather but i still need to make sure i look my best.  i just ate the most peculiar dinner consisting of a small serving of chicken stir fry and two spoonfuls of peanut butter.  beach body!

i need to star looking for a post-graduate career.  there, i said it.  i really need to have a steady income in new york.  i can't continue to work retail after i receive my bachelor's.  i sincerely hope that i begin looking this week.  however, i'm finding my down time isn't really in my hands, anymore.  so here's to hoping that nobody bogarts my time.

not only am i beginning my diet today but i'm also going to start tanning this evening (after 9:30pm as it is $2.00 less) and try to get back into the routine of doing some nightly exercise.  lofty goals, i know.  i'm a new soul.

man, i want another spoonful of peanut butter but that's 100 calories that i simply cannot spare.