¡que caliente!

last night found wendy, kristi and myself visiting the latest hot spot in town, the btb cantina.  a combination of mexican food and mexican drinks makes for an unflattering image in the bar of local singles burying their desires in burritos and nachos.  and we were three such locals.  as to be expected, we saw an eclectic mix of people we know and people i'd like to never meet.  and of course, no night is complete without a gymnast grazing my leg under the table while regaling me in his stories about new york city (and how he promises to visit this time).

this morning i reserved a spot to meet with an advisor during which she will review my resumé and aide me in finding the ever elusive postgrad job.  i figure if i attend enough of these there's no way i won't find a job.  and putting my future in someone else's hands might make her feel responsible for finding me work.  that might sound a bit manipulative, but that's exactly what i'm going for.

i think i'd like to go on a date, soon.  i also think i'd like to stop going to the aut bar because upon reviewing my credit card statement it's clear i'm there far too often.

i'm having dinner tonight with kristi and a mutual friend (the one whose ex-boyfriend i fucked) and i can't help but think she has an agenda for the evening.  she was supposed to come out with us last night but alas, was not feeling well.  about a month ago she had approached me in my apartment about how we hadn't been close for a couple years and she made it sound as if it was something she wanted to right.  however, this new person she has become reminds me far too much of erving goffman's theory of presentation of self.  it's almost as if i can see right through her front stage self and into who she actually is.  and who she actually is is someone who wants to appear to care but might actually not.  but i'll go along with it because it's easier to consent than it is to resist at this point.

i ate way too many tortilla chips last night and now i can't eat until dinner.